For the majority of twenty seventeen I have toyed with the idea of starting a personal blog, a medium through which to share my story and document my personal growth and journey.
Here we are with just 2 months left to go in the year and I'm just now putting out my first post.
It's been a pretty crazy and chaotic year with a lot of twists and turns and upside down loops. Life has been nothing short of a roller coaster this year from the very jump, starting with the January 2nd storm/tornado here in Albany, GA.
Right before the New Year started, my then fiancé, now husband, and I had our first annual retreat. For me, personal growth was to be the focus for this year, in all areas.
During our 2-3 day retreat, I felt this strong urge to start documenting this new journey as it unfolds and share the ways life has presented opportunities for growth. However, life smacked us in the face multiple times, and I was so consumed in just trying to survive and tackle each obstacle that I never sat down to write until now. It all would have made for great content I'm sure, and I wish I could have shared it. However, I'm somewhat grateful that I didn't have the time to sit and write because I know that my words would have reflected that of a person not speaking with a clear mind, but from a place of misery.
While I want to talk about my journey and my story in a personal and natural way, and be real and raw with it, I also want to ensure that I create the space to heal before putting things out on the internet. Delete doesn't truly mean delete in the online world and I'd rather not put myself in a situation in which I regretted everything I said in a post.
So, what is UnKajed Thoughts?
I'll start by telling you what it isn't. This isn't some blog where I tell you 5 things you can do to change your life or give you step by step instructions on how to be a better person.
Nah, that's not what this is.
This is me, my thoughts, my life, my story, my progress, my regression, my stagnation, my growth, the evolution of me as it unfolds. This is me sharing my journey, my achievements, my struggles, the good all the way to the down right shitty. And I've cleaned up a lot of (insert poop emoji here) this year, literally and figuratively.
This is the jumbled hot mess that's in my head on paper....or a computer screen rather, at least by the time you read it. Because if you know me, then you know that I quite possibly hand wrote this with pen and paper first. Because that's me, and the words don't always flow when I'm looking at a screen with my fingers resting on the keys.
I don't intend for this blog to look like an Instagram page where you only see the fun stuff people do, photoshopped photos, the outfits that took an hour to put together, and the same damn pose in every picture ('cause you know, we all have that one good side). That is not what my life looks like and so I don't intend to dress things up with cute Snapchat filters that give you long fake lashes and a flower headpiece to cover your large forehead.
I am hoping that in the process of all this I will have the chance to connect with or help someone who might be dealing with similar situations, stagnation or complacency, intentional attempts to grow and evolve, or just life in general. I am hoping to develop a better sense of self and maybe even come out of this with a business idea.
I hope to be free in my writing. In fact, as I was gearing up to write my first post I was thinking about this tattoo I got when I was 18. It says "live free." Free is everything I don't feel I am right now, but want to be. I want to be free in my thinking, my actions, my appearance....I want financial freedom, freedom from having to rely on someone else to employ me, freedom from having to take care of another living organism (besides my husband of course).
I want to be free to be my authentic self. Be free to be me. I think my 18-year-old self was sending a permanent reminder to live my life free from conformity, restraint, shackles, and other's opinions, and be comfortable stepping outside the box. A reminder I very much need considering I will answer "square" when you ask me to describe myself using a shape...
The thing about blogging about your personal life is that you're not just talking about yourself, but friends, family, coworkers, and anyone else you might come in contact with that impacted you in some form or fashion. So while I want to be raw, transparent, and authentic, I also want to write with integrity.
So here it is: My life - Somewhat Unfiltered & Uncensored. My Unkajed Thoughts.